The way I figure it, if you don't at least try something then you'll never be able to do it. Sure, it seems like most of my classmates are a lot more flexible than me, but so what? You know the ones- "foot behind the head" types from the planet Rubbertonia. Probably never had to carry a seventy pound field pack ten klicks up the side of a mountain. Don't get your little violins out right away, because I'm not complaining. Too much work still to do. "Keep practicing- all is coming," that's what my teacher tells me when I want to quit. Anyways, here are some yoga postures that I am still practicing. Keep breathing and face front!
ello friends. Ya know, it's not easy being a guy who does yoga, and it's not much better if you're only 12 inches tall and made of plastic. I don't let that bother me too much, cause feeling sorry for myself isn't what Mrs. G's little boy does.

Asana is described as “easy, comfortable seat.” I wasn’t always able to sit blissfully in lotus pose.

Of course, I was very jealous of my friend who could simply slide into padmasana without even using her hands! My teacher told me that I could learn this posture, but I had to be willing to practice it every day for maybe five years.

You’re kidding! That’s longer than the lease on my Mini. Ya gotta work very slowly, paying attention to your knees and do a lot of breathing as you try to open your hips. But, never underestimate the power of attachment.

“Practice, and all is coming.” Thank you for that, and for this.

A lot of my buddies insist that yoga is for wussies, “All ya gotta do is squeeze your butt and breathe.” OK, that’s probably a fair statement, unless you’re talking about scorpion pose.

First, you’re upside down trying to balance on your forearms, and then ya gotta bend backwards so far you end up wearing your feet like a baseball cap, just trying not to get your face stone washed.

My teacher says this position is great for stomping down all the garbage filling up your head. Like, you know- fear, attachments, doubts. Personally, that’s a heck of a lot of trash to compact! I’m just grateful that my hair is hard enough not to get all mussed up.

I’m always being told to stand on my own two feet, but sometimes you gotta look at things just a little bit differently.

Combining a full split with
a handstand not only turns the world upside down, giving me a fresh perspective, but also airs out my poor aching toosties which suffer all day in hot jump boots.

Yoga teachers have long touted the benefits of inversions as a way to develop confidence, strength and balance. Mostly I just think they like to find all that money on the floor after class! Believe me, more than one double tall iced latte has been purchased with the loose change which has fallen out of my pockets.

Named after a great teacher, Bharadvajasana and its variations are just the thing when I feel ready to unwind. And it’s a great posture when you want to see who’s really bendy behind you in a hot vinyasa yoga class.

If you have especially ticklish feet this posture allows you to practice equanimity and steady breathing as you resist the urge to laugh.

This posture makes a welcome appearance after the backbends in the intermediate series of ashtanga yoga, a complex and largely unattainable sequence. When mastered, bharadvajasana helps me maintain my strong, light and virtually waterproof plastic body.

Even if you have a bad memory, I bet you remember the first time you saw someone do this posture. After picking my jaw off my mat, I thought, “Verry cool. Me too.”

Four years later I could finally stand in half-lotus, and then it took another birthday to be able to grab my big toe and bend down to try and touch the floor.

Dripping water can eventually wear a hole in a rock, and sweat is a kind of water, isn’t it? Then, one day I found myself breathing quietly and steadily in this pose.

Yeah, I definitely remember the very first time I saw this posture, and now I don’t believe in disbelief anymore.

I heard that someone once asked Lincoln just how long should a man’s legs be? “Long enough to touch the ground,” he replied.

And how long should your arms be in revolved triangle pose? Just try to put your hand on the floor without bending your knees or rounding your backside!
When I first tried it, I was almost a half-inch too short. (That’s about three inches to you, Abe.)

Of course, I can’t make my arm longer, but I can find extra inches by bringing my outside hip all the way forward and by pressing into my front foot I can take my inside hip back. In squaring my hips the earth moves just a little bit closer and then I can touch the ground.

Sometimes I can be doing yoga and my mind is a million miles away. You know, the lights are on, but nobody’s om?

But, I can’t remember even once daydreaming in peacock pose. Every muscle, every molecule and all of your attention are needed to pull this one off. Plus wrist, arm, back and leg strength and one seriously tough tummy.

What I dig about mayurasana is it’s absoluteness, there’s no soft and fuzzy stuff going on. You are either in it or you’re not. When was the last time you could say that about child’s pose?

Love it or hate it, in peacock pose this moment is all there really is.

OK, my butt is stuck way up in the air, so what? Everybody’s butt is high above their head! And for some of us, this is not only an improvement but a real photo op. If you’ve never done expanded leg pose in a crowded yoga studio, then you haven’t done yoga.

All kidding aside, this posture has two lives. For the first lifetime you are just struggling to get your head on the floor, and that’s all. Talk about being relentless! In the second lifetime, once your head is on the mat, you can use the support of the entire earth to lengthen and release most of that effort.

Look on the bright side ladies, everyone else is way too busy to be staring at you, anyhoo!

This is one of the most well-known yoga postures, and is named after one form of Shiva, whose dance represents the many activities of life- you know, like working, eating, playing cards and hanging out downtown with your buddies.

Amidst all of that stuff, a yogi is not fooled into believing that busy-ness is all there is. Its a nice idea, and it helps as you try to find stillness and balance in a posture that feels like you’re tippy-toeing around in a house of cards!

At first, holding onto a wall can help you find your center. And exploring the play of opposites, like pressing down and lifting up is your best friend and the only way into lord of the dancers’ pose.

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